Oftentimes I find that the puritans were far more able to express the thoughts in my own heart, than I am. Below is one of the prayers from Valley of Vison. I am humbled as I read these words and realize that I am not alone in my feelings of failure and unruly heart. But I am refreshed and encouraged to see how my Father never lets go of me...no matter how many times I try to run away. Thank you, God, for not allowing my constant love of sin to push You to abandon me.
Eternal Father,
Thou art good beyond all thought,
but I am vile, wretched, miserable, blind;
My lips are ready to confess,
but my heart is slow to feel,
and my ways reluctant to amend.
I bring my soul to Thee;
break it, wound it, bend it, mould it.
Unmask to me sin's deformity,
that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it.
My faculties have been a weapon of revolt
against Thee;
as a rebel I have misused my strength,
and served the foul adversary of Thy kingdom.
Give me grace to bewail my insensate folly,
Grant me to know that the way of transgressors is hard,
that evil paths are wretched paths,
that to depart from Thee is to lose all good.
I have seen the purity and beauty of Thy perfect law,
the happiness of those in whose heart it reigns,
the calm dignity of the walk to which it calls,
yet I daily violate and contemn its precepts.
Thy loving Spirit strives within me,
brings me Scripture warnings,
speaks in startling providences,
allures by secret whispers,
yet I choose devices and desires to my own hurt,
impiously resent, grieve,
and provoke Him to abandon me.
All these sins I mourn, lament, and for them cry pardon.
Work in me more profound and abiding repentance;
Give me the fullness of a godly grief
that trembles and fears,
yet ever trusts and loves,
which is ever powerful, and ever confident;
Grant that through the tears of repentance
I may see more clearly the brightness
and glories of the saving cross.
~Valley of Vision pg. 124-125
