1.22.17

I was in the bathroom getting ready for my friend Carolyn's bridal tea shower. Your daddy was in the living room reading. It was an otherwise quiet Sunday morning. I had a thought that maybe I should check to see if i was pregnant yet, since daddy and I had been trying for a few months.

When that pregnancy test turned positive SO quickly, my heart flew a million different directions!

I was so surprised and excited that we had conceived you!

I was instantly aware and terrified that our lives had just changed!

Suddenly nothing else mattered but you.

I ran to tell your daddy the news and, forgetting all of the Pinterest-y cute ways I had planned to tell him when this day finally came, I found myself standing in front of him...I simply shoved the pregnancy test in front of his face and said "Look!" (...very poetic and original, I know). And then your daddy and I did just that for the next few minutes. We looked. At the test...at each other...at my stomach..?!

It slowly started sinking in for both of us that YOU, my dear Penelope, were already growing inside me. YOU were on your way, ready or not.

We decided it was best to not announce the news since we needed to see the doctor first. So I went to the tea in kind of a weird daze. I was there. But my mindset was already changing. The tiny things that mattered to me before suddenly didn't matter anymore.

Fast forward a few weeks when we finally saw the doctor. They showed us your tiny heartbeat and gave us a Due Date. Today was that Due Date! January 22, 2017. As an Aquarius ♒️ you were going to be my little Water Bearer. I know very little about Aquarius personalities, but I already loved you SO very much!

However, you are not an Aquarius. YOU, my dear, decided you wanted to be a Capricorn! ♑️😉 Why? Because you decided the world needed to meet you 11 days sooner, and because even in utero you were already a strong, confident tiny human!

Penelope Rae Kress, I love that you make life unpredictable. I love that you pushed your way into this crazy world at a moment when your daddy and I were completely caught off guard. I love your inquisitive eyes, your tiny button nose, and your feminine little mouth that is already expressing so well.

And I love YOU, my darling!

Happy 11 days old, Penny Rae!

It's Just Us

I sat down to update my blog just now, and noticed that the last time I posted was only 2 weeks prior to more excitement that was added to my life.

On April 27, 2013 Drew asked me to be his wife in the middle of a field in Clermont. I couldn't be happier as I exclaimed through tears that I loved him and, oh yeah...YES! The next 9 months were absolutely insane! I was never the little girl that had my wedding colors picked out by the time I was 12, or even 20. So I had a LOT of decisions to make, but I also had a great person to help me make these decisions. I could not have planned my wedding without my fiance and I'm so grateful he was so willing to help. He kept me level-headed and helped us stay mostly on budget (please let me know if you would like some wedding planning tips!).

On February 1, 2014 I became Mrs. Andrew Michael Kress. My heart continues to overflow with happiness when I think about that special day. There were so many things that went "wrong" leading up to it, including having 2 of my bridesmaids drop out of the wedding only a month before the big day. But things happened the way they were supposed to. We got married in a catholic church on Park Ave, then danced and ate next to dinosaur bones at the Science Center. People told us it was the most unique wedding they've ever been to, especially when someone decided to "plug in" the T-Rex and he started moving! :)
My favorite moment of the entire day, though, was when I finally got to dance with my husband. I had felt bits of emotion throughout the day, but when I was finally encircled by our closest friends and family, and our song (Turning Page - by Sleeping At Last) came on...and I was finally in the arms of my Tall Boy...I fell apart with joy. I was so grateful for the people standing with us who had stood by us throughout our relationship, I was so happy with the song we chose since music is so important to both of us, and I was beyond-words-excited to finally have Andrew, my HUSBAND, holding me...dancing with me. It was such a special moment.

For more pictures, please feel free to check out my personal Facebook page with the album here.

Also, our gift to all of our wedding guests (and beyond) was a little picture-video-song that we put together, which you can view here. :) Enjoy! 

Time Goes By...

Yes I'm back. I know, it's been almost three years since my last post and a LOT has happened since then. I've loved and lost, both people, cars, and jobs. I've met new people, found a new purpose, and discovered a new outlook on life. I'm more ME than I was back then, though I know that can be said of many people. 

Because so much time has lapsed and so much has happened, I'll focus on one event per post (for now). 

I've met and fallen in love with the most wonderful man on the planet. He is a kind, loving, caring, compassionate soul.
Andrew and I met at a bar...yes. We have a mutual friend, Miles. Miles and I worked for the same company and kept in touch through FaceBook after he left. At the beginning of November '11, I told him my brother was playing a show near downtown Orlando and that he should come. On 11.11.11, armed with my Nikon D80 I went alone to my brother's show. Miles said he was bringing his buddy Drew. The 3 of us met up and hung out, talking and laughing the entire night.
I personally didn't notice any fireworks at first sight, but probably because neither was I "on the prowl". My heart had been broken only six months prior, and I was sure I would never love again. Silly me to think I know God's plan for my life.
At the end of the night, I parted ways with Drew and Miles. As I was walking back to my car, I got a text from Miles saying "my buddy Drew is in love with you!" I giggled.
Over the next few weeks, the boys got me to come over and hang out with them while their band practiced, as we had discussed me singing with them at a gig or two in the future. Never happened. ;) But I did get to spend time with this six foot four, blue eyed fella. So it was a good trade from my point of view. It wasn't until I invited Drew over to my house to work on writing some songs that I realized I had feelings for him.
We continued to text, talk, and hang out, spending more and more time together. And on December 26th, 2011 we went on our first date. Drew is such a caring person that he asked ME if I wanted to meet him anywhere in particular for dinner. We decided on PR's Taco Palace, then walked up and down Park Avenue, then went to Shipyards to grab a beer and talk some more. The evening engulfed us as we talked and talked and talked. There was no pressure to be someone I'm not. There was no expectations of where the date would go or how long this would last. There was just us. And that's how it's been for the past (almost) year and a half that we've been together. :)
We've certainly experienced fights, tears, harsh words. We've also had to walk through Drew having 2 surgeries, me losing my job unexpectedly, and financial difficulties for both of us...and that was just over the course of 7 months! But we both believe God brought us together to bring inexplicable happiness to each other and also to help one another through the tough times that have only strengthened our relationship.
Drew compliments me. His life, his character, his personality, are a perfect fit for the good and not-so-good aspects of my life...and vice-versa.

Love Is Marching

Some girls choose to live a quiet life in the shadows, blending into the background. Others spend their entire lives grappling for the limelight, desperate for both independence and acceptance simultaneously.

Very few choose the path that these three sisters are traveling on. The Barlow sisters have helped to blaze a trail in Christian music by not producing ‘inspirational’ lyrics that get lost in really cool guitar riffs and drum solos. But they have started a bonfire in this genre by drawing people in with their amazing talents; and instead of lulling their audiences to spiritual sleep with what our ‘itching ears’ want to hear, they sound the alarm with a call to war in love. Their lyrics speak truth and love to the heart of the wavering Christian, and resonate in the souls of the unregenerate. Their music flows beautifully through the media’s sound waves, giving them platforms for sharing the Gospel. Their lives touch so many through their testimonies of perseverance, purity, and confidence in their heavenly Father.

Rarely does one see such beautiful girls (inside and out) in the public eye stand faithfully at the foot of the Cross over the years. I’ve followed BarlowGirl for the past several years, and have been encouraged that their main ‘inspirational message’ is directed at young girls, challenging them to fall in love with the Saviour, instead of chasing after the lusts of this world.

So what are you doing with your life? Are you simply living day to day, chasing the momentary pleasures that this world offers as lifetime satisfaction? Or are you living to “Carpe diem”? Seize the day! Make every moment count…not for yourself, but for the One who created you. If you’re a Christian, take risks! Don’t just sit back and expect ‘opportunities’ to come to you. Go out and seize those opportunities!

If you sense the Holy Spirit prompting you to strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you at school, on the bus, in line…go for it!

If you have a passion for sharing the gospel in your local community, be the one to stand up and form groups and prayer meetings!

If you have something on your heart that you want to take a stand for, such as being a voice for the unborn, do it!

If you have a desire to spread the gospel to the unreached parts of this earth, do what you can to get on a mission trip to a foreign country!

Any and all of these can bring glory to the Father. Do not reach the end of your life and only then realize that you’ve wasted it! Seek the Lord on what He would have you, His laborer in the field, do. Then go out and do it! J

Come As Little Children

A friend/pastor of mine recently used this illustration by Charles Spurgeon in a message he gave. Spurgeon helps us take a different look at the story of the prodigal son, and it so affected me that I wanted to share it with the rest of the world. ;)

This poor young man, in his hungry, faint, and wretched state, having come a very long way, had not much heart in him. His hunger had taken all energy out of him, and he was so conscious of his guilt that he had hardly the courage to face his father; so his father gives him a kiss, as much as to say, "Come, boy, do not be cast down; I love you."

"Oh, the past, the past, my father!" he might moan, as he thought of his wasted years; but he had no sooner said that than he received another kiss, as if his father said, "Never mind the past; I have forgotten all about that." This is the Lord's way with His saved ones. Their past lies hidden under the blood of atonement. The Lord saith by His servant Jeremiah, "the iniquity of Israel shall be sought for, and there shall be none; and the sins of Judah, and they shall not be found: for I will pardon them whom I reserve."

But then, perhaps, the young man looked down on his foul garments, and said, "The present, my father, the present, what a dreadful state I am in!" And with another kiss would come the answer, "Never mind the present, my boy. I am content to have thee as thou art. I love thee." This, too, is God's word to those who are "accepted in the Beloved". In spite of all their vileness, they are pure and spotless in Christ, and God says of each one of them, "Since thou wast precious in My sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee. Therefore, though in thyself thou art unworthy, through My dear Son thou art welcome to My home."

"Oh, but," the boy might have said, "the future, my father, the future! What would you think if I should ever go astray again?" Then would come another holy kiss, and his father would say, "I will see to the future, my boy; I will make home so bright for you that you will never want to go away again."

Whatever there was to trouble the son, the father gave him a kiss to set it all right; and, in like manner, our God has a love-token for every time of doubt and dismay which may come to His reconciled sons. Perhaps one whom I am addressing says, "Even though I confess my sin, and seek God's mercy, I shall still be in sore trouble, for through my sin, I have brought myself down to poverty."

"But I have even brought disease upon myself by sin," says another. "There is a kiss for you, for I am Jehovah-Rophi, the Lord that healeth thee, who forgiveth all thine iniquities, who healeth all thine diseases."

"But I am dreadfully down at the heel," says another. The Lord gives you also a kiss, and says, "I will lift you up, and provide for all your needs. No good thing will I withhold from them that walk uprightly." All the promises in this Book belong to every repentant sinner, who returns to God believing in Jesus Christ, His Son.

The father of the prodigal kissed his son much, and thus made him feel happy there and then. Poor souls, when they come to Christ, are in a dreadful plight, and some of them hardly know where they are. I have heard them talk a lot of nonsense in their despair, and say hard and wicked things of God in their dreadful doubt. The Lord gives no answer to all that, except a kiss, and then another kiss. Nothing puts the penitent so much at rest as the Lord's repeated assurance of His unchanging love. Such a one the Lord has often received, "and kissed him much," that He might fetch him up even from the horrible pit, and set his feet upon a rock, and establish his goings."

Yet I Sin

Oftentimes I find that the puritans were far more able to express the thoughts in my own heart, than I am. Below is one of the prayers from Valley of Vison. I am humbled as I read these words and realize that I am not alone in my feelings of failure and unruly heart. But I am refreshed and encouraged to see how my Father never lets go of me...no matter how many times I try to run away. Thank you, God, for not allowing my constant love of sin to push You to abandon me.

Eternal Father,

Thou art good beyond all thought,

but I am vile, wretched, miserable, blind;

My lips are ready to confess,

but my heart is slow to feel,

and my ways reluctant to amend.

I bring my soul to Thee;

break it, wound it, bend it, mould it.

Unmask to me sin's deformity,

that I may hate it, abhor it, flee from it.

My faculties have been a weapon of revolt

against Thee;

as a rebel I have misused my strength,

and served the foul adversary of Thy kingdom.

Give me grace to bewail my insensate folly,

Grant me to know that the way of transgressors is hard,

that evil paths are wretched paths,

that to depart from Thee is to lose all good.

I have seen the purity and beauty of Thy perfect law,

the happiness of those in whose heart it reigns,

the calm dignity of the walk to which it calls,

yet I daily violate and contemn its precepts.

Thy loving Spirit strives within me,

brings me Scripture warnings,

speaks in startling providences,

allures by secret whispers,

yet I choose devices and desires to my own hurt,

impiously resent, grieve,

and provoke Him to abandon me.

All these sins I mourn, lament, and for them cry pardon.

Work in me more profound and abiding repentance;

Give me the fullness of a godly grief

that trembles and fears,

yet ever trusts and loves,

which is ever powerful, and ever confident;

Grant that through the tears of repentance

I may see more clearly the brightness

and glories of the saving cross.

~Valley of Vision pg. 124-125

Are You Going To Next?

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, the NEXT conference is led by Joshua Harris, the senior pastor of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, MD.

This weekend is designed to be "an even more focused way of helping see the gospel transferred and received faithfully" from a group of pastors to the next generation. The teaching received at this conference is invaluable; and the fellowship, relationships, and ministry received is equally precious.

Registration ends May 16th!

Photography on the Horizon!

Hey all!

Just wanted to let you know that I have a new website up for my photo shoots that I'm doing. I'm hoping to turn this into more of a side-business than just a hobby, so please tell your friends! :)

Thanks so much!

Fairy Tales vs. Real Life

So I came across this blog post and felt the need to post it on my blog because I agree with it so much. =) I am continually encouraged that there are more and more people out there who do not believe in the dream that Hollywood likes to portray as reality. Let us not succumb to the fairy dust that has been sprinkled over our lives through the media's display of life and love.

Cole is a great writer and I don't think I could possibly expound on what he said regarding today's media and "love".

http://www.colenesmith.com/?p=1536

The Dearest Place on Earth

I want to share with you a radical change of heart that has taken place in my life in the past few months.

Since the beginning of this year, my local church has been going through some really tough changes on the heels of a tumultuous, challenging season. I've never experienced the emotions, good and bad, towards my church family that I have in the past few months. I've been confused, anxious, and scared...all of which are evidences of my LACK of trust in God's sovereign plan over my life. Sadly, I chose to first distance myself from my Savior instead of first crying out to Him for faith and direction. I caused myself hours of needless worry and anxiety...not because I now realize I can put my full trust in the leaders at my church, because I can't. They are sinners saved by grace, just like me. But the anxiety and worry was needless because I CAN and should put my full trust in the sovereign God of the universe...the One who has full authority over my life, over the life of the church, and over its' leaders.

I feel like God suddenly lifted the veil from my eyes to see my OWN self-righteousness in how i was responding to these past few months. What He's revealed to me, is this: if I believe God called me to this local church, and the Church is the Bride of Christ, then why would I not treat the bride of Christ as I would my own earthly spouse? If my spouse, whom I made a covenant to stick with 'for better or WORSE', has sinned against me but is now showing signs of repentance and humility, who am I to cast judgment on them and say they don't DESERVE my forgiveness and then walk away from that covenant? If we as Christians firmly believe that a husband should not leave his wife even if she sinned against him, but that he should stand by her side and lead her to genuine repentance...why would we not take on the same attitude within the Church? Yes, a pastor has more spiritual responsibility weighing on his conscience because God has anointed him to shepherd a flock, but that pastor is STILL just a man. So for me to not forgive, or to pass judgment, or to 'flee when things get hard' is to ultimately say (I believe) that God's grace is sufficient for MY sins, but not for my pastor's. God opened my eyes to see that I was headed down a road where I was quickly allowing my heart to be governed by pride and my own judgments, rather than be governed and led by the Gospel. Praise be to God that He stopped me in my tracks!

I want to thank the pastors at my local church for how, though they are still sinners, they continue to pursue humility no matter how difficult things become.

In looking for some form of encouragement, I came across Charles Spurgeon's Morning & Evening for today. =)

The King's Highway

The wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein. (Isaiah 35:8)

The way of holiness is so straight and plain that the simplest minds cannot go astray if they constantly follow it. The worldly wise have many twists and turns, and yet they make terrible blunders and generally miss their end. Worldly policy is a poor, shortsighted thing, and when men choose it as their road, it leads them over dark mountains. Gracious minds know no better than to do as the Lord bids them; but this keeps them in the King's highway and under royal protection.

Let the reader never for a moment attempt to help himself out of a difficulty by a falsehood or by a questionable act; but let him keep in the middle of the high road of truth and integrity, and he will be following the best possible course. In our lives we must never practice circular sailing nor dream of shuffling. Be just and fear not, Follow Jesus and heed no evil consequences. If the worst of ills could be avoided by wrongdoing, we should, in the very attempt, have fallen into an evil worse than any other ill could be. God's way must be the very best way. Follow it though men think you a fool, and you will be truly wise.

Lord, lead Thy servants in a plain path because of their enemies.

Moments

Do you ever have those little moments of pure freedom? Maybe you have those frequently and you know exactly what I'm talking about. Or maybe you've never had that moment and you feel as though you're being suffocated as you read this. Or perhaps you simply don't care. Regardless, this is my blog so I want to share my 'moment' with you. =)
My 'moment' came on a beautiful warm afternoon...the kind of warm that is subtle, yet readily welcomed by a Florida girl who's experienced one too many consistently chilling days. This warm afternoon, coupled with eating lunch by a lake with friends, led to driving away from the park by myself...windows rolled down, singing in that "I don't care if you can hear me, in fact I really hope you can" voice...driving with my knees, one arm hanging out the window, the other stretched across the front seat, wind tousling my hair. THIS. This was my moment of freedom. I hadn't accomplished anything in particular that day. I hadn't 'rebelled' against authority (to my knowledge) so it wasn't a "bad girl" freedom. It was simply, "I'm free. I'm alive, I am who I am because that's who God made me".

This was my moment. What was yours?

Christianity? Or American Religion?

In seeing some disturbing online headlines on a couple of well-known televangelists, I started clicking on a couple of different links to see what different newspapers and intellectuals had to say about televangelism in general. I found this review by Gerard Reed on the below mentioned book (bold print is my emphasis):
“Most of us know, if only on a tacit level, that television has transformed our world's cultural landscape. Yet few of us seriously probe its workings and implications for the church as well as for the broader society. Quentin J. Schultze, in Televangelism and American Culture: the Business of Popular Religion helps us do so. One of the authors of Dancing in the Dark, Schultze teaches communications at Calvin College and is a highly regarded scholar who's devoted much care to the study of television. He not only watches the programs, he studies the flood of solicitations sent to those who respond to the televangelists' appeals. What concerns Schultze is "how and why televangelists are helping to transform American Christianity from a church into a business, from a historic faith into a popular religion based at least in part on superstition". Still more, he argues that "televangelism is probably the most characteristic and remunerative expression of American religion. It is the nation's own religion, a special Protestant hybrid raised in American culture and nurtured by the mass media. Televangelism may even be the flagship of American religion, setting the style and tone of local and denominational life". TV "ministries" almost always share certain traits. They are "audience-supported" --since funds come from viewers' contributions the ministries must cultivate and maintain a loyal audience, so the message is tailored to please those who watch. You can easily shift channels. You write checks only when you're happy with the presentation. Keeping the audience happy, maintaining its allegiance becomes a preeminent concern. They are "personality-led"--we want "stars" and "celebrities" in religion as much as in athletics and films, so successful TV preachers and singers must be attractive personalities. It helps if they're good looking. (Knowing I planned to visit Lloyd John Ogilve's church in Hollywood, a lady who works with my wife asked me to see if he's really as handsome as he looks on TV. Well, I've seen him . . . and he is!) They are "experientially-validated"--few doctrines or historical traditions receive much attention, but practical, how-to-do-it-and-enjoy-it messages abound. The audience, of course, likely includes folks from a variety of theological persuasions, so you must not risk alienating any of them. Even moral stances may be muted. (One study found a direct correlation between TV viewing and knowledge of the 10 Commandments--the more religious TV watched, the fewer of the commandments were known!)
"Technologically sophisticated," TV ministries rival the best, state-of-the-art equipment and production techniques of their secular counterparts. They are "entertainment-oriented"--to keep folks' attention you must use variety show or talk show formats and imitate the Johnny Carsons who score with the American public. Not many Lloyd John Ogilve type church services last long on TV. Finally, they are "expansionary-minded"--the "success" of the ministry is judged by the number of viewers and size of their offerings. Were the above characteristics restricted to TV ministries, they might not overly concern us. But a serious problem appears when the people who watch TV programs come to the local church--and most all the folks who watch televangelists also attend local churches--and expect TV-style religion! Early critics of TV ministries feared they would tempt people to stay away from church, but that's not happened. What has happened is perhaps worse: TV addicts crave similar "fixes" in their weekly worship services! (Even more problematic in my mind, though Schultze doesn't focus on it: those who never watch religious TV watch incredible hours of regular TV, and their whole attitude toward life, their basic taste in communication, has been thoroughly shaped by the medium.)
So we want messages and programs that please us--if not, we scoot down the road in search of a church which "ministers to us," unconcerned with denominational or community ties. We demand that our singers and preachers be alluring personalities, as polished and winsome as Robert Schuller or as old-fashioned and fiery as Jerry Fallwell. We really want to be free of dogma and denominational distinctives--after all, it's what we feel in our hearts, what enables us to cope with family problems, what provides therapeutic advice illuminating our psychological ills, which most matters. TV ministries, and TV in general, breed "Christians" who have little concern with what the Christian faith has historically considered central. Americans have always demanded up-to-date technology, and Evangelicals, while often resisting intellectually "modern" trends, have embraced technically "modern" developments with reckless abandon. (I'm always amazed by the sound systems in churches which serve 50 people! Without a microphone, it seems, no message amounts to much!). We've refused to see "modernity" as a whole, as something you cannot easily pick and choose purely wholesome dividends. We really want our church services to be entertaining. We insist our congregational plans be growth-oriented--woe to the pastor who doubts the need for a new gym of "family worship center"!
After brooding about such developments, Schultze says we must discern the "demonic" in the medium. Quoting William Stringfellow, Schultze declares that "televangelism exists in a 'state of alienation from God, cut off from the life originating in his life, separated from its own true life and, thus, being in a state of death'". Nevertheless, Schultze insists TV will not go away, nor will Televangelism. What we need to discover, he suggests in the book's final chapter, are ways to redeem it. He thinks televangelists should be more accountable to governing bodies. He urges churches to focus more study on the medium, helping believers see how they are manipulated and thus prepare them to more wisely cope with it.
I'm not sure Schultze's recommendations will solve the problems, but his treatise certainly helps me think about how powerfully TV dominates our culture, even our religious culture, and stimulates us to consider ways to correct or counteract its influence.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m not familiar with Reed’s background, but I find his analysis of televangelism and my limited personal views of televangelism to be extremely similar. While I believe that men like Billy Graham revolutionized televangelism and spread the Gospel to numerous unreached cities across the world, it’s sad to see Graham’s work ‘overshadowed’ (in a sense) by more cutting-edge, charismatic men who appeal to the “itching ears” of America.
Don’t get me wrong- I certainly believe that God can use the prideful attempts of money-hungry men to further the Gospel, which only displays the greatness of His power; but the materialistic empires that are being built in “the name of God” are sickening to me. In my opinion, if your “messages” stray so far from the truth in Scriptures from the very beginning of your “ministry”…you weren’t ‘in the biz’ to see lost souls come to Christ.
The Christian life is not about living happily on this earth with as many comforts and pleasures as we can grab for ourselves. Jesus didn’t live a ‘comfortable’ life…why should we? =) As gloomy as that may sound, the ‘discomfort’ of the Christian life does not come without promise of future happiness! Scripture says that we, as Christians, WILL experience pain and trials in this life; but we are instructed by God to rejoice in our own sufferings and trials because we have the glorious promise of what’s to come.
We were not called to live overabundant lives…hoarding money for ourselves, taking advantages of our ‘weaker brothers’. We were not called to share ‘messages’ without substance or conviction.
Christians are called to “go forth and preach the gospel into all the nations” (including our own communities) and to live in contentment, happy with the resources God has given us. In an article by Robert D. Jones, we’re shown what contentment looks like as described by Paul in Philippians 4:11-13. Jones writes, “contentment does not depend on our circumstances…our spiritual happiness does not depend on our life happenings. Contentment can occur in even the worst situation.” So why do these televangelists insist on pushing the ‘prosperity message’? Could it be because they lack conviction and substance in their own lives?

Visit this website to decide for yourself whether some televangelists really do preach the Gospel message...or the prosperity message.
The following link will take you to a radio broadcast by Todd Friel on The Way of The Master: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SuZoHYUZ7o&feature=related and Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYFKFdxdGPw&NR=1 where Friel addresses Osteen’s most recent published work (A Better You). Notice also, Osteen’s ‘message’ drops in confidence from when he’s on stage giving his ‘messages’ (mucho confidence onstage), to whenever he’s being interviewed (where there’s a lot of “I think…I don’t know…I don’t like to judge…I don’t like to beat people down”). I’m not all about 'bashing' people, but when you're claiming to be a Christian preacher, and you have a following as big as Osteen, I can't help but feel the need to reveal him as the false prophet that he is.

In my opinion, Joel Osteen has become the Pied Piper of American religion and people need to hear the Gospel truth on a consistent/weekly basis…not just a motivational pep-talk.

I Can Hear the Bells...

Well my sister FINALLY got married! =) And OH, what a beautiful, joyous, anointed occasion it was!

I am so very happy for my sister and new bro-in-law, though I'm still getting used to the idea of them being married. My sister was THE most beautiful bride I've ever seen. Truly. And I've seen a few. But no amount of makeup, hairspray, or curls can even compare to the kind of beauty that radiates from the soul! My sis has truly found the man of her dreams and you couldn't have contained her excitement that day even if you had held her down. ;) Her attitude throughout the whole day was amazing. Not once did she turn into "bridezilla".

Emotionally, I did fine all day...then the wedding started. :) I got goosebumps as the Pride & Prejudice music crescendoed (sp?), and then...I saw my dad walking Jenn up the aisle. Yup. I lost it at that point. My big sis was ACTUALLY getting married. This wasn't just a dream I was having because she and I had stayed up late the night before plotting and scheming our "future weddings". This was real. Dad was REALLY giving her away, they were REALLY saying their vows to each other (which also made me cry), and Jenn REALLY became Mrs Jennifer Fountain. =) What a blessing to be involved in such a glorious event as this. WHAT a blessing to be able to stand by a friend and your sister, in full confidence that God had brought these two together...not just their emotions. My sister and new brother-in-law officially began their life together on February 5, 2010 and I'm so excited to see what the Lord has in store for their future together, as a married couple. =)

Please go to Kristen's Blog to get a taste of what the wedding was like!

P.s. Even though they got married in the spring, you'll notice Jenn still got to have her fall/winter wedding that she's always wanted. Just thought I'd point that out. =)

Tales from the Motherland

So I'm going to attempt to blog our whole trip in one sitting...for real. ;) For those of you who don't know, my friends Sarah and John Morgan decided last January that they were going to take a week-long trip to Ireland. They started asking people in February, and I was one of them, if we wanted to go with them in November of this year. I initially turned them down because of work and lack of vacay-time.

3 weeks before they were supposed to leave, Sarah told me they had another spot open on the trip. It would cost me less than $800 for the WHOLE trip, and I had vacay time available. So I went. And these are the happenings...in order. =)

Thursday, Nov 5 Rebekah Schwab, Luke Holger, Damaris Wells, and I spent the night at the Morgans and our plane left around noon on Friday. We got into Dublin around 10:30am their time on the 7th. Janelle Leach met us in the airport, we picked up a rental van (no small task) and drove into the city for a few hours. Might I say that Janelle was SUCH a blessing to our group...from the very beginning! She brought her GPS (sat-nav) with her so the first few days of navigating were significantly easier!

We walked around Dublin taking pictures for a while, ate lunch at a McDonalds (I know. FIRST meal in another country and we go to the golden arches!), and then went in to Carroll's (a souvenir shop) and bought some touristy treasures. We stopped at Trinity College to walk around and were going to do the tour of the Book of Kells but it required money and time that we didn't have. So we moved on to the Guinness Brewery. We took the abbreviated tour so that some in our group could take a class in how to appropriately pour a pint of Guinness and receive a certificate for this feat. Then we went to the top floor which was called the Gravity Bar, if I'm not mistaken- floor to ceiling windows so we had a 360 degree view of Dublin. It was lovely, but we wanted to get on the road because we had to drive across the country (should've taken about 3 1/2 hours) to get to our cottage. We stopped in a city called Athlone and ducked into Sean's Bar for a few minutes to hear some musicians. But they didn't have food and our group was famished, so we left. We finally got into Doolin around 8pm and had dinner at Fitzpatricks. The food was AMAZING there! I had some sort of creamy tomato pasta dish. =) John followed the owner of the cottage out there while we sat and ate our food. He unloaded the ENTIRE van by himself and THEN came back to get us. We were very grateful!

As soon as we pulled up to the cottage, all us girls started shrieking and giggling. It seriously is THE most adorable cottage you'll ever see! So we unpacked and went to bed. =)

Sunday morning, Anne knocked on our door and had us follow her over to her family's castle: Ballinalacken Castle. This was truly THE MOST beautiful castle I've ever seen in person. Absolutely breath-taking. We spent about an hour just roaming throughout the castle ruins, taking loads of pictures/video and admiring God's handiwork. We thanked Anne for taking us there (the castle isn't open to the public), and then we left for the Cliffs of Moher (the cliffs of Insanity- from Princess Bride)! We spent ALL afternoon on the cliffs. There are no words to describe the beauty we beheld, standing at the edge of the steep cliffs, watching the waves crash into the rocks hundreds of feet below us. At one point, we were walking, and noticed that the wind had carried bits of foam from the ocean way down below up onto the path in front of us. Very bizarre for us Floridians. ;) Yes, we trespassed, along with a dozen other tourists, but it truly was well-worth the risk. Most of the time my mouth couldn't even form words to express what I was seeing. I just drank it all in in silence...for the most part!

We begrudgingly left the cliffs so that we could hit the local market and stock up on groceries. We drove into Ennistymon and stopped at a SuperValu...this store became our friend, for the next five days. =) We bought the goods and drove back to the cottage to make spaghetti for dinner.

Monday, we drove into town to go to Doolin Cave but it was closed. =( So we drove into Galway and went shopping, ate lunch (fish n' chips) at McDonaugh's, went to the famous Claddagh Jewelry store (the lady gave us a history lesson too, very interesting!), did some more souvey shopping, and then went to Kingshead Pub where Janelle and I shared Irish Tapas. Yum! We hadn't had our fill of 'live irish music' yet, so we walked over to Taffaes Bar and stayed for a while. *insert several stories here from the rest of the group*

Tuesday we drove Janelle to Shannon airport and said our goodbyes ::sniff::. Then the remaining 6 of us drove to the town of Dingle (berry!) and toured the "PREHISTORIC Beehives"...which were really just old...not prehistoric. ;) But they were still cool and we caught John on video trying to herd sheep. *grin*

This town had some of the most beautiful coast-line I've ever seen. I actually got tired/frustrated of saying "wow" and "oh my goodness" because around every corner, every bend in the road, just when you thought it couldn't get any MORE spectacular...it DID! =) We even saw a 'complete half' rainbow! ::sigh:: It was amazing.

Then we drove back and stopped in Limerick to have dinner at a 'posh' restaurant. Rebekah and I each got a Ploughman's Panini, Luke had Cottage Pie (similar to Shepherd's Pie), Damaris had 'bangers and mash', and...John got a burger. =P I forget what Sarah had..? Good food though.

Wednesday John woke up really sick and Rebekah wasn't feeling well, so we all slept in, and then Damaris, Luke, Sarah and I ventured out into the countryside on foot. =) WHAT a glorious time! We ended up being gone for four hours! We made our way down to the rocks by the shore and took tons of pictures along the way. Again, the view was breath-taking! The waves crashing up on the rocks, water seeping into every nook and cranny around you...then quickly slinking back into the sea...then returning again just as quickly as it left...it was simply splendid!

We got home around 4pm and made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup...MMMmmm!!! Then we decided to have 'movie night' so we popped popcorn (one of the highlights of our trip) and watched a movie called "This is My Father"...I wouldn't recommend it. We had to fastforward a few scenes, but our intent was to watch a typical irish film. And this movie was set in Galway. =) So we all gathered 'round the very small tv with our popcorn, cans of coke, boxes of Nerds, Whoppers?, and blankets and ended our night in front of the telly. ;)

Thursday we drove into Ennistymon to go to the bank and use internet at Ooh La La Cafe, which had only just been open 4 weeks by a girl around my age, sweet as can be! While we were using the internet to check email and send the last update to our parents, some of us got hot chocolate and I got a nutella/banana crepe! Mmm!

After that, we stopped at SuperValu and got peanut butter, jam, and bread to make sandwiches for lunch. We drove to Killarney because Luke said that a friend of his has a family castle (Ross Castle) in Killarney National Park; so we drove to find it. =) We parked outside a beautiful cathedral and Sarah and Damaris ran to find a bathroom, John and Rebekah (still both not feeling well) stayed in the van, and Luke and I opened up the boot of the van and made pb&j sandwiches for everyone (also not an easy task, as their slices of bread are much larger than in the U.S. and we ran out of jam quickly).

We all walked through the cathedral, quietly taking pictures. Then we went in to the National park in search of Ross Castle. It was REALLY windy and cold, but we didn't care. We just kept walking. Along the way we saw 2 deer, a couple dogs, and a leprechaun. John tried to chase the leprechaun down but he was too fast and magically disappeared into thin air! As we neared the road to Ross Castle (it was a BIG park!) a couple walked past us saying the road was flooded. Now in my mind, I'm thinking a few inches deep, and maybe several feet across...or maybe there would be a way around it if we got off the path. Silly Stephy. Sarah and Damaris had their wellies on so they decided to brave the flooded path. Then Luke decided to go too, since it was his idea to come here...even though he most definitely did not have wellies on. ;) The water came up above their calves in the deepest parts, but the path was flooded for at least a couple hundred feet (maybe more?) and there was no way getting around it. So obviously, Luke's shoes got soaked through but he kept going. The 3 muskateers took a few pictures then trudged back. Meanwhile, John constructed a make-shift bench for Rebekah, me and him to sit on while we waited. Since none of us had phones, we had no idea how long it was going to take them. After a short while, we saw the crazy girls rounding the corner...CARRYING Luke! Hah, that only lasted a few feet though. So we walked back to the van, the trio took their socks and shoes off to let their feet dry ;) and then we drove in to Ennistymon for a few more groceries. We stopped at a 'fish n chips' joint for dinner (but John was really tired so he stayed in the van and slept) and then walked over to Daly's to hear some local musicians play...it was GREAT! By this time though, our entire crew (except for me and Damaris) was sick so we went home after a while and had 'picture time with Luke' before going to bed.

Friday we drove into Ennistymon one last time, then drove over to LaHinch (a surf town) and walked around, admiring the waves crashing on the rocks...and the Sarah. ;) We grabbed lunch at a little 'glorified gas station' and then Sarah and Damaris made Irish stew for us...on our last night. ::sniff:: After dinner we fixed popcorn and hot chocolate and had our 'last picture time w/ Luke'. But then I think none of us really wanted to go to sleep that night cuz we knew we'd have to leave. So we all fell asleep in the living room (only for a few hours). Then gradually...one by one, we all went back to our rooms to sleep until 3am when we had to leave for the Dublin airport. The drive back was long and miserable because none of us really wanted to leave. None of us were ready to get back to 'real life'...and all the busyness it entails. None of us were ready to split up the little 'irish family' God put together specifically for this trip. But alas, our jobs and bio-fams were calling us back to the states. ;)

It was such a lovely time in Ireland, and I plan to go back again...very soon. =)

By the way, I WILL post pictures...after this.

Suffering...?

The following was written by my friend Kate several months ago. I only just read it and it so affected me, I wanted to re-post it.

I would like to take a crack at something. I have been thinking a lot about the basic philosophies of Christianity. The issue of suffering is a huge one. How many times have we heard someone say that they could not believe in God because of suffering in the world? I don't know if there is ever an adequate philosophical response to this question, but I wanted to share some thoughts.

A lot of people blame suffering in the world on God, and conceivably so since he could stop all of it. Makes sense. So what if God took away suffering? What would that look like?
We have to agree that while suffering is universal, the definition of what constitutes as suffering is not.
Picture a room, and in it, we will put those who suffer:

A woman raped.
A young girl who did not get the lead in the school play.
A wealthy socialite with a chemical peel gone wrong.
A man that loves a woman that does not love him.
A child whose hands have been cut off.
A woman who’s husband was shot in front of her.
A child who did not receive a toy they wanted.
A man who lost his job and has a family to feed.
A man who lost his job, but has no family.

We may scoff at the woman and her chemical peel, but could you blame the child with no hands not understanding why a man who lost his job was in the room with him? Is it ridiculous for the rape victim to roll her eyes at the tearful cries of a man unloved?
The girl that did not get the lead in the school play may feel shame; self hatred; anger; bittnerness- and feel them quite hotly. We can say she is young and immature in what causes her suffering, but it does not change the fact that her response is, indeed, suffering (and also that we are arrogant for believing that our vantage point of what constitutes as suffering is the ultimate authority).
Does the acknowledgement of sex slavery in the world lead you to cry less when someone has broken your heart? Probably not.
So. If God was good, then there would be no suffering. But that means no suffering, of any kind.
I think a response to this would be the idea that there should not be rape, or AIDS, or cancer or murder, the ‘tragic sufferings’ maybe.
But let’s say those things did not exist. But if we could still feel pain, there would simply be different scale of sufferings.
Imagine a world where the only health problems anyone ever had was the common cold. That’s it. No other diseases.
People would say that if there was a God, he would not allow people to have colds. The indignity of nose blowing and the harrowing torture of a sore throat would cause people to question his existence and goodness. People would lose their faith after catching a cold, or perhaps find God in the midst of their sickness, needing Something to comfort them in their distress and anguish.
We think that is silly only because we know the range of suffering pertaining to health. If the range was a cold only, it would be the worst thing in the world. And we would be right back where we started.

Let’s continue with this line of thought.
A world with only colds. No rape or murder, no adultery, or stealing.
So now, in this new world where all extreme suffering is removed- we would have new extreme sufferings.
People would be atheists because they could not believe in a God that allowed broken nails; bad break ups; boring jobs.
Philosophers would write books on the spiritual cruelty of acne and bad hair. They could not accept a God that did not make all of creation aesthetically pleasing. Ugly people means an ugly God.
Again, these things seem petty (maybe) to us only because we understand the spectrum of suffering.

So, all suffering would have to be erased. And not only would God have to take away the things that make us suffer, but he would have to take away our very faculties that process suffering.
We would either all have to get what we want, or not be able to process pain of any kind. One is not possible, because what we want often hurts other people, so two could be the only logical conclusion.
So the following words would be incomprehensible to us: worry; anxiety; pain; fear; abandonment; rejection; neglect; hurt; anguish; misery; annoyance; disturbance; etc.

Without those words, or the ability to understand what they refer to, the following words are also meaningless- happy; joy; love; kindness; forgiveness; gratitude; contentment; ecstatic; delight; acceptance.

Without suffering, of any and all kind, we also would not be happy. We would have no concept of the word.

So I wonder a few things.
I wonder if God has saved us from suffering even more greatly than we can imagine.

The same way we laugh at a world that dismisses God based not getting parking spots or coveted jobs, is there another world that would laugh at our suffering of rape and genocide as petty?

I can think of nothing worse than being strapped to a bed and raped. But I wonder if God’s response to that would be: “There was the possibility of me creating a world where men could literally rip out your essence, eat it, and you would be trapped in their body for the rest of your life.”

Again, ridiculous. As ridiculous as American missionaries explaining video games to south American natives. Just because it is incomprehensible does not mean it could not be true. That would be putting ultimate authority in our cognitive faculties, which is a little arrogant. If God is blamed for all disasters, I wonder if there are disasters he has kept us from?

There is one suffering we know exists, that only one Man felt. When Christ was in the garden, and on the cross, He was completely cut off from God. It hurts when we lose relationships with those we cherish, even if we may have only known the person for a few months.

But what of the pain of losing our spouse of 50 years?

Christ (going on the assumption that he was who he said he was) lost the companionship of God that he had had for all eternity. He felt cosmic abandonment. Intense. Intense enough for him to cry out “Llama sabachthani” My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

When I hear stories of Christian martyrs, it strikes me that they died more bravely and perhaps seemingly more faithful deaths than of Christ. I can only image that Christ’s sufferings went far beyond the physical, into another spiritual realm that I can only think of as science fiction.

But I think we can all admit that at least some of our sufferings have produced good in our life, in the form of character; patience; grace; etc. So if we can see some good coming from suffering and evil, isn’t it possible that God can see good coming out of all?

I’ve gotten to spend time with my one year old godson, Ethan Key, quite a bit in the past few months. When I do not let him play with the light socket, he suffers and screams, even if I explain the law of electric transference and death. When Beth (his hot mama) leaves the room, no matter how logically I clarify the idea of showers and imminent return, he will not be comforted. He feels suffering. I can’t alleviate that. And as he gets older, he will continue to suffer when Beth and Nate do not allow him to steal other children’s toys or pull their hair, he will suffer when he is not allowed to play in the street or after dark, he will feel anguish when Nate doesn’t let him start driving at 14, when he has to do homework and chores, when he is not allowed to marry the great love of his life at 15, or stay out all night. He will suffer and not understand and be a better man for it. But he won’t comprehend that until later.

Is it possible that we are just as blind? Just as young and immature in Gods eyes?

I suppose I am comforted that the justice I desperately want on this earth is not pointless, it is promised in the form of heaven. That the heaven Christ talks of is not just one of consolation, but of restoration.

Last random thought: maybe we feel pain because God does. Not just Christ, we know he suffered. But God, in the Old Testament, suffered. Pain and suffering exist in God’s realm just as much as this one. God is not separate and detached from our pain, it is found in Him. We are made in his image, and that may be somewhat physical, but it seems primarily emotional to me. God feels hurt; abandonment; rejection; pain. The Christian faith is that of the God Who Suffers. God was so moved by our pain, that he sent Himself to take it on. It did not alleviate all of our pains here on earth, but Christ’s sufferings and his desire to be with us, can help us suffer well and come out of it stronger and wiser. And if our sufferings lead to death- our desire for what we want on earth, is now found in the hope of resurrection and heaven.

Wise Words from John Piper

I was searching for John Piper's thoughts on a certain topic and found this article...SO helpful, encouraging, and 'in-your-face'. =)

1.2. Forsaking Wicked Ways and Thoughts

To seek the Lord means to forsake wicked ways and unrighteous thoughts (v. 7).

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts.

If you take seriously the positive side of seeking God, you have to take seriously the negative side of turning from behaviors and thoughts that offend him. You cannot seek God and practice sin or plan sin at the same time.

If you call out to God, "O God, I need you, help me!" one of the very first things that will happen in answer to that prayer is that God will awaken your conscience to something in your life that needs to be forsaken. If God answers your call in that way and you refuse to forsake what your conscience condemns, then you cease to seek God, and your words become empty (as in Isaiah 58:1-2). You can't seek God where he is not found, in sin.

It would be like a man who leaves his wife, moves into his own apartment, has a regular sexual affair alongside his marriage, and then gets on the phone and "calls" his wife and "seeks" his wife. And she says, "Have you forsaken this woman?" And he says, "No, I can't." Then she will rightly say, "Then you are not seeking me. Your call is empty. You will seek me and find me as your wife when you forsake her and all others for me alone, just like you vowed!"

Seeking the Lord means forsaking the ways and the thoughts that are displeasing and dishonoring to him. You can't seek him where his is not found—in sin.

Now lets look back through the book of Isaiah to see what else it means to seek the Lord.